Ten F-words of a perfect match

1. Faith: The elephant in the room in most every relationship is the faith discussion. Some faiths discourage dating individuals outside the faith. This usually is a wise concern due to the fact that this could lead to divisions in the relationship later on. Don’t underestimate this component. A good rule of thumb is if we don’t agree on spiritual things how can we see eye to eye on natural things…

2.Finance : This is big because many relationships run into the money demon quick. You must realize what money level the other person is at presently. This will affect courtship, travel, dates, birthdays, and expectations. This is a major issue in western relationship especially in a capitalist economy where money speaks to more than can you pick up the bill at dinner. It speaks to classism and ability to potentially provide for a family and at what level of provision. Rule of thumb if money matters have a conversation of expectations before you go further..

3.Fidelity: This is the category which a lot of people would have put first. Everyone hates a cheater. But some folks don’t have the same sense of fidelity. Sex is a subject that in our current social climate of swingers, open relationships, and extreme promiscuity this is a major concern. Fidelity is a habit. So is infidelity, therefore get an understanding of the sexual habits of your new romance candidate. Rule of thumb if you hooked up with them while they were with someone else, the cycle of infidelity was one you permitted. So don’t be surprised when the creature of habit does what comes naturally.

4.Physical: Now Im being kind putting this down the list. But I’m being fair to individuals not as shallow as myself. Now if you don’t mind that this person you are about to date was breast fed by a gorilla, well good for you. But for some folks they cant deal with what their eyes say no to. If you don’t like big women, and right now she is not big, but her mom is a grizzly bear. Well winne the pooh might become yogi bear. Examine eating habits, check if teeth are real, if hair is real. Try to see that person prior to makeup, without a fresh shave and hair cut. Take them swimming and see if skinny jeans are holding together a Jenny Craiger. Remember too gentlemen that kids change a woman’s body and if she didn’t work out before the baby it might be hard for her to get into the habits of working out after the baby. Guys if your lady works with fit groomed good looking men and she comes home to you in your sweats sitting on the couch with stinky socks and chicken in your teeth, you might be referring to point number three soon…. Rule of thumb, don’t settle eye candy is sweet go get you a cavity…

5. Feng shui: The aim of feng shui is to create a living and working environment in harmony with nature and the flow of energy. This speaks to the pattern of life style. Does this person fit your pattern of life style.. This is so important, life must flow and people have to flow together, their lives should be like wind and water. I say all the time you don’t have to work on a good relationship you have to work on a bad relationship. I don’t call my best male buddy and say hey man we need to spend time working on our relationship. After he stopped laughing at me he would most likely hang up the phone. A friendship isn’t work, it’s a friendship it must flow. Why does it flow because we do things the same way we like the same things we share the same ideas of how we want to exist day to day. I laugh she laughs I cry she cries, I want to be alone she wants to leave me alone.She wants to go dancing I want to go dancing…"flow".
Rule of thumb if it does not flow, get up and go but if you have already made commitments to be together sit down and shut up you asked for it, deal with it…find places in the relationship where you guys flow and spend most of your time right there.

6. Fahrenheit : Yes I needed another f-word, I am using this to talk about the temperature of the person in the relation. How does this person act when life turns up the heat. People are all well and good until the bottom drops out. You don’t know people until you know how they handle stress and crisis. You need to know how this person behaves when they are in a bad mood, are they annoying are they a manic depressive, do they drink to much, or eat to much or go on a spending binge. I knew a girl that handled stress by shoplifting . Do they also know how to deal with you when you are stressed or going through crisis. The question you need to know is will they be their for me when the going gets tough, or will they get going.
Rule of thumb if you cant handle my stress you cant handle my life…Also if you cant maintain the peace you cant share my space.

7. Former life- Skeletons in the closet…What is sitting in your past that is lieing in wait to cause havoc in my present. Do you have a venereal disease, bad credit, a criminal record, baby mama drama, a crazy ex wife or ex husband, do you have your boyfriends names tattooed to your body, do you got kids, were you a prostitute, or exotic dancer and everyone knows it? The former life of that special someone is significant and should not be overlooked. The former life of the other person usually comes into play later on in the relationship due to the monotony of dealing with issues that the former life continue to create in the presence. Not everybody is called to deal with the complex realities of the other persons past drama. Check your tolerance level at the door, rule of thumb it bothers you now it will bother your later. If it doesn’t bother you now it might get to you later. Don’t underestimate the limits of your tolerance. But hey some times love is blind, deaf, and dumb.

8. Flexibility: Hey I know we planned out our lives and we believe everything is going to work out but hey, stuff happens. So you just gotta role with the punches baby, sometimes there is a famine in the land and we got to know that God said hang in there. Sometimes you don’t have the answer and life just dealt us a bad hand but im going bend, and not break . Say it im going to bend not break Im going to stay flexible, because sometimes I got to bend over backward to survive. I might have to take a detour because life gave me cancer, but Im not going to quit Im going to bend.. The question is will you bend with me and we make a pretzel together… Rule of thumb when life gives you lemons does your face prune up or do you add rum and a cherry and take a drink… Baby I know I promised you roses but sometimes you got to deal with the thorns..

9. Friends: Show me your friends and I will show you your future. No I don’t want to date you and your ghetto girl friends. Why are all your friends on welfare. Why is it you have no friends that go to church. Why is it all your friends are single. Why is it that all your girlfriends cheat on their men, but you don’t right…The friends of a person expose the mind sets of that person. A variety of friends in varying circumstances of life demonstrate the behavior that person might tolerate either in themselves or in their mate. Rule of thumb friends create or reflect the culture of a persons life, pick the culture of a person as well as the person, by your friends I will know you.

10. Family: I put this last because just because I was raised in the ghetto and my mama is ghetto does not mean I am ghetto. The opposite is also true. So family is an indicator but not an absolute indicator. But we cannot over look the DNA of your upbringing. Sometimes a man is just like his daddy and a woman just like her momma. Some people the woman is like her daddy and the man Is like his momma. The point is if I see you have been raised by a toxic person the reality is that you might be poison. Your mom married three men and had three kids for three different men and I meet you with two kids for two different men, well where there is fire there is smoke too..No I said it right, fire.That is the sound of the canon going off that is shooting me out of your presence. I am not trying to be an extension of your dysfunctional family. If your family doesn’t like me and you are close with your family most likely eventually your wont like me either. Rule of thumb if you don’t want there family to eventually become your family, don’t date em. Lets be real uncle Ned the wino is not the ideal god-father of your kids.